Heart Beating
by GracevasTrash
Summary: After losing all her friends and spending the winter break alone, Zoe discovers one more twist in the horrible mess from last semester.


Hey guys :) it's my first degrassi fan fiction yay :) so I am horrible at writing (5 out of 20 in creative lol) but i have so many headcanons for next season that i had to let out. I know a lot of you are angry at a lot of degrassi at the moment so hopefully you will like this, it will get much better I promise, this is just an introduction kinda thing (the chapters will also get longer)

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After the mess that was the Snowball, Degrassi was officially on winter break. Usually Zoe would have been excited seeing as it meant weeks off school and while she did prefer the summer heat she did appreciate the snowy days spent indoors talking to her friends online. This break was different though seeing as she had managed to ruin the lives of every single one of her friends, well except Tristan who has enough of his own drama anyway, as well as her own.

Christmas and New Years went by slowly, with the days between being spent curled up in her bedroom watching all her friends out having fun during their break through social media. Zoe's loneliness hit a low the week before school started again during which she attempted to rekindle her friendships by sending everyone effected by her mess a 1,000 word essay apologising for all the hurt that she caused, explaining to them that she acted without thinking and didn't intend for so many people to get hurt when the only person she truly wanted to hurt was herself. The message got a total of one reply from Zig who explained that that he understood exactly seeing as he was in the same position but didn't want to keep talking to her because he was trying to win Maya back and if he was seen spending time with Zoe, Maya would think something was still going on between them. Zoe realised through the lack of replies that it was futile to try and win her friends back and began to focus on her life as she had pretty much ignored herself the whole break.

Zoe decided that sorting out her bag ready for school the next week was her first step to fixing her life, start with something simple right? Under the piles of crumpled handouts, bags of makeup and a spare shirt Zoe noticed a tampon box, thinking it was empty she threw it over her shoulder into the large rubbish pile but it wasn't until it landed with a loud thump that she realised it wasn't quite as empty as she thought it was. Zoe had a pattern in which she brought a 24 pack of tampons every two months using the first 12 one month and finishing the pack the second, perks of a light flow, but Zoe couldn't remember the last time that she brought them meaning that she should have finished the packet and just be waiting on getting her period again to buy more. She wracked her brain trying to remember the last time that she had her period, she remembered that she had a little bit of spotting just after the mess with Zig but that was months before and that wasn't even a period. Zoe wasn't stupid, she knew what this meant so the next day she snuck out of the house while her mother thought she was asleep to buy a pregnancy test from the comer store down the street. It was another 3 days before she could work herself up to actually take the test, if it came up positive the whole mess that had pretty much ruined her life would take another drastic turn for the worse and Zoe didn't think that she would be able to handle any more mess.

It was Friday and with school starting again on Monday Zoe knew that she couldn't put it off anymore. She gently took the test out of her draw, afraid that griping it to hard would somehow make the situation real, and went into her bathroom, locking the door. She placed the test on the vanity and stared deeply into her eyes in the mirror, questioning how she managed to get there. She started to look back on all the signs that she had missed; the absent periods, the sickness during the Snowball and occasionally through the break, the depressive mood that she passed off as simply caused losing her friends. She should have noticed earlier. Angry with herself that she didn't pick up the signs, Zoe aggressively grabbed the test off the counter and ripped the package off but the aggression stopped when she had the stick in her hands because it finally struck her how real the situation was. After staring at the stick for over a minute, Zoe finally took the test.

Of course the test was positive, it was pretty much a waste of time and money but Zoe was still devastated anyway. The stupid hook up from months ago out of spite that caused her to lose all her friends obviously would end in even more devastation. Zoe couldn't even begin to think about how many people she would have to explain this too and how many of them would hate her even more than they already did.


End file.
